5-7 Year Olds 2017-01-10T14:16:46+00:00

5-7 Year Olds

Children learn about sex from a very young age, even if we don’t talk with them about it. There are many mixed messages in the media about sex and sexuality which can lead to confusion and extra complications – children don’t know what is real and where to get support.  Children need time & space to develop their own understanding but instead they are being presented with images and ideas that they may not be emotionally able to deal with.

Questions 5-7 year olds may ask

Where they’re at

Preschoolers are as intensely curious about other people’s bodies as they are about their own. “My five-year-old was playing in the sprinkler with a friend and he asked, ‘Why does his penis look different than mine?’” says Jean Smith, a mom of three in Aurora, Ontario. “He had obviously looked long and hard enough to notice there was a difference between a circumcised and uncircumcised penis.” Kids this age are also what Meg Hickling (Canadian sex educator) calls “magical thinkers.” “If they don’t get factual information, they make up a story to explain things to themselves.” They may decide, for example, that if you want a baby, you go to the hospital, where a nurse hands them out to anyone who asks.

What they need to know

While it’s important to answer all of your young child’s questions honestly (no stork stories, please), 5-7 year olds are not ready for a course in obstetrics. If you are asked, “Where do babies come from?” you may want to start with a simple answer: “A seed from the daddy and an egg from the mommy come together and grow in a special place in mommy’s tummy called a womb.” Some children will be perfectly satisfied with that, while others may demand to know more—like how the seeds get into mommy’s tummy in the first place. “Use your child as a gauge,” suggests Johnson. “You’ll know you haven’t given her enough information if she still has questions.”

Sex is one way that some grown-ups show that they love and care about each other. It is also how people make babies.
If that hasn’t answered their question…
After saying the above, ask, “Does that answer your question?” If your child needs more information, you can discuss the details using the right terminology for the different body parts. For example, “If a man and a woman agree to having sex together, the man can then put his penis in the woman’s vagina.” Pay attention to your child’s body language. If they change the topic, or look disgusted, end the conversation with ‘We can talk more about this another time”. This should leave them feeling comfortable to come to you with the next question.
They meet each other in the woman’s body and then start to grow and form a baby. The baby grows inside the woman’s body for 9 months, until it is ready to come out.
The sperm comes out of the man’s penis during sex and goes inside the woman’s uterus, where it meets the egg. They join to make a baby. *There is no need to discuss arousal to a young child, this information can be shared at an older age.
The baby comes out of the mother’s vagina.
When the baby is ready to be born, the woman’s uterus (where the baby grows) pushes the baby out. This is called labor. The vagina will stretch wide enough for the baby to come out.
That’s what penises do. Penises go hard sometimes and then get soft again. It means it’s working properly.
When a penis gets hard it called an erection. Whats happening is, extra blood from your body is going into the penis. It is a normal and healthy thing for penises to do. It can happen if you have an exciting thought, if you have been rubbing your penis, if you need to wee or sometimes for just no reason.
You can come in if it’s an emergency, but otherwise, we (the parents) like to have some quiet time together. Everyone needs some quiet time and privacy, just like you. If you need to come into our room, please knock and ask first.
In a conversation afterwards, explain that you were having sex. If you have not had that conversation yet, you can say that you were having a special type of snuggle that only grown ups have. Reassure your child that nothing is wrong.

Listening – the key to successful conversations

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