What is Masturbation?

Masturbation is the act of touching one’s own body to become aroused and get a feeling of pleasure, often by stimulating your genitals. There are many different words used for masturbation, such as ‘jacking/jerking off’, ‘wanking’, ‘flicking the bean’, ‘fingering oneself’ or ‘self-love’, and these often end in orgasm, but not always!

How Do I Masturbate?

  • Girls often touch the clitoris, inner or outer labia, the vaginal opening, the anus and the space in between these two openings (the perineum).
  • Often girls avoid directly stimulating the clitoris, as this can feel very intense, but prefer to touch spots around it. Girls may also add sex toys, such as vibrators, to the experience. They may also use lubricant or lotions to enhance the pleasurable sensations and prevent uncomfortable friction and irritation.
  • Boys may stimulate the penis, scrotum, perineum, and/or anus, by massaging, rubbing or stroking, and can also use sex toys and lubricant. Sex toys need to be kept clean in order for them to be safe to use, so make sure you read the directions on the packaging.
  • You may also like to touch other sensitive areas of your body. There are nerve endings that can create ‘erogenous zones’ all over the body. An erogenous zone is an area of the body that is more sensitive than usual, and it can create a sexual response such as relaxation, thoughts of sexual fantasies, sexual arousal and orgasm. These may be unique to each person, but common erogenous zones include breasts, nipples, thighs, and neck to name a few.
  • It is normal and healthy to have sexual fantasies, as they add to sexual arousal and excitement. Women and men may like to fantasise using erotic stories, images or videos (see ‘Pornography’ section) or just using their imagination!

When should I start masturbating?

It is important to know that you NEVER have to masturbate if you don’t want to.

Also, there is no right or wrong age to start. Each person will be different. You can masturbate whether you have a sexual partner or not. Children often begin touching themselves long before puberty, as their bodies grow and change. Many children begin masturbating as they grow and explore their changing bodies. They do not have sexual fantasies at this age, but as they grow into their teenage years, masturbating becomes a more sexual act.

It is very important that children know that masturbating is normal and will not harm them. They should know that it is not something to be ashamed of, but that they need to do so in private.

Can masturbation be bad for me?

Good news – there are no health risks associated with masturbation, as long as you are super hygienic.  Make sure that anything that is making contact with your genitals is clean (hands, sex toys) and that you are not touching your genitals with anything that has touched your anus. This is particularly important for women. Bacteria from the gastrointestinal tract can be passed into the vagina in this way, which can cause a number of infections. If you have touched your anus with your fingers, sex toy or anything at all, it needs to be thoroughly washed before touching the vagina. After all, we wash our hands after using the bathroom, so this is no different.

Skin irritation may occur, but using lots of lubricant should sort that out. Find a lube that agrees with your skin. Some people can be sensitive to certain lubes, e.g. strongly flavoured, tingling or ‘warm’ lube. Again, everyone has different preferences! Try and choose a reputable manufacturer, or try a natural product that can be used as lube, such as coconut oil (which also smells great). If you’re unsure if something can be used as lubricant, always double check by asking a health practitioner, like your GP or nurse.

The only way that you can masturbate ‘too much’ is if it is interfering with your daily life – such as your job, school, responsibilities, your sex life with a partner, your social life and activities. If this is the case, it is a good idea to speak to someone you trust, or a professional that you feel comfortable talking to, such as a therapist or GP.

Masturbation and shame

Masturbation was once considered as a ‘perverted’, shameful act by many people, and a number of religious groups believe it to be sinful. You and/or your older relatives may have been warned not to masturbate as a child or teenager. These negative attitudes can be brought into adulthood and cause the person to feel shame or guilt for pleasuring oneself.

However, masturbation is now recognised as healthy, normal, fulfilling and safe, and there is no need to feel any shame in masturbating. It has many health benefits, and is a natural part of being human. Only you can choose what is right for you. If you have feelings of shame and guilt related to masturbating, talk to someone you know and trust who will not pass judgement. This may be a friend or family member, or perhaps a doctor, nurse, counsellor or sexual educator.

Why do people masturbate?

Masturbation can improve our physical, mental and sexual health, and help to create healthy sexual relationships. Here are a few amazing things that masturbation can do…

  • relieve sexual tension and reduce stress

  • achieve sexual pleasure

  • does the above when partners are unavailable

  • help the person relax

  • create a sense of well-being

  • physically and emotionally improves sex with partners

  • enhances comfort and confidence during sex

  • help people find out what they like and don’t like, where they enjoy being touched and stimulated

  • increase the ability to have orgasms (yay!)

  • improve relationship and sexual satisfaction

  • improve sleep

  • enhance self-esteem and improve body image

  • help to relieve menstrual cramps and muscle tension

  • strengthen muscle tone in the pelvic and anal areas